What is the best way to approach sex education in the early years?
Sex education in early childhood is a fundamental process that begins in the very first years of life. Given that the first three years are a crucial stage of learning, it is essential to consider how to support this development in a respectful and mindful manner, in line with the developmental pace of each child
During this period, a bond is formed with carers, and the foundations are laid for language, movement, feeding, trust and a child’s relationship with their own body. Although these processes are natural, they require the sensitive presence of an adult who is able to observe, listen to and interpret the signals given by each child.
Talking about sex education in early childhood does not mean introducing the subject too early, but rather supporting children’s development through respect, care and recognition of others as individuals.
Adultism: when adults fail to see children
Why is it important to pause and reflect on this point?
Because adultism – that is, the tendency to view the world solely from an adult perspective – often prevents us from seeing children for who they truly are.
This happens within the family, at school and even in healthcare settings.
Historically, children have been treated more as objects of care than as rights holders.
Until the 18th century, for example, children dressed like adults. The psychoanalyst Françoise Dolto recounts that the ribbons sewn onto their clothes—supposedly to help them walk—came to be used to keep them suspended in the air whilst the adults worked.
Although such practices seem unthinkable to us today, forms of control still persist that do not always respect children’s bodies or boundaries.
What does all this show? That children have been—and often still are—regarded as objects of care and protection, but not as rights holders.
Recognising children as rights-holders
The first essential step towards respectful sex and emotional education in early childhood is to recognise that children are people in their own right, not miniature adults or objects to be manipulated.
As developmental psychologist Elisenda Pascual Martí points out, ‘respectful education is the radical idea that children are people too’.
Starting from this premise profoundly transforms the way in which we support their development.
What does this mean in everyday life?
1️⃣Changing nappies as a relational experience
When changing a nappy, whether at home or at nursery, it is essential not to touch the child’s body without warning.
Even though they may not yet be able to speak, a bond is formed through eye contact, tone of voice, pauses and gestures. These small gestures convey dignity, confidence and a sense of presence.
It is through these interactions that the sense of one’s own body, personal boundaries and the distinction between oneself and others is formed.
2️⃣ Early sex education and the prevention of abuse
When children are recognised as individuals, they can:
- Understanding which parts of their body belong to them
- Knowing that no one can touch them without their consent
- Learning to say NO without fear of losing someone’s affection
These lessons form one of the cornerstones of child sexual abuse prevention, and begin long before any verbal explanation is given.
3️⃣ Growing up without violence is also part of sex educationción sexual
A family or educational environment free from shouting, punishment or violence – including what is often dismissed as ‘minor’ violence – is an integral part of sex and emotional education.
Adultism leads many adults to exercise power simply because they are older.
This hierarchy is clearly reflected in the film Matilda, when the father says:
« ..I’m big and you’re small, and I’m right and you’re wrong And there’s nothing you can do about it…».
.Growing up in such an environment can lead children to:
- Normalising violence
- To think they deserve it
- To learn that those in power can cause harm.
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4️⃣Before we start teaching, let’s take a look at the role of the adult.
Even before we start thinking about materials, activities or teaching resources, the most important step is to re-examine our views on childhood.
We don’t need a guidebook if we don’t first change our attitude:
from power → to care,
from control → to relationship,
from adultism → to recognising the other as a person.
This is the basis of any coherent approach to sex education in early childhood.
What do you think?
Sex education starts with the little things we do every day.
I’d love to read your thoughts and hear your views on this very important topic.